Written the night after my daughters birth
What does parenthood mean to me?
With great power comes great responsibility and with great responsibility comes great power.
By becoming a parent i have gained both, how i choose to make use of them will not only influence my life, but also my daughters and in turn her children etc.
There are may parents with many hopes for ‘their’ child to achieve great things. Personally i have very few hopes for Alanah (daughter). I hope she learns to value herself and others, to me she has already achieved great things, she grows everyday and brings joy to all that meet her, a gift so many of us lose.
I hope to help her value herself because that will allow her to appreciate herself which makes it difficult for others to ‘depreciate or de-value’ her. i believe appreciation is paramount to love and to be in love with life without an exaggerated fear of death brings joy to the beholder and all that come into contact with them.
I hope to help her to value others because everyone is of value and those that see the value in others will never be lonely, but also the act of appreciating others is also a fulfilling experience for the appreciator, those who see all the wonders in the world live a wonder – ful life.
I have little interest in what profession she will enter because to me that’s of no comparison to what kind of person she is to become. People change the world not titles.
I see my role as a guardian, i may call her my daughter but i don’t look at it as a position of ownership the only thing that is actually mine is the responsibility to be a father to her. I believe me responsibility is to distribute responsibility to her in manageable chunks to enable her to eventually take FULL responsibility for her life and eventually others.
I expect this to be a learning process for both of us as we work together trying to find the right balance, this is a journey we will both never forget, i aim to never forget and never regret. By making my decision out of love i hope this will enable me to have no regrets when she does become fully responsible for herself and our roles change from a parent -child to an adult-adult relationship.
When I say make my decisions out of love i mean in the actionable sense of the word ( see the road less traveled M.Scott Peck).
Not just want the best for her in my thoughts but also in my actions, through reflection on the effect of the decisions i have made and also by doing the necessary groundwork/preparation before making the decisions understanding that i have substantial room to grow and that the more I invest in becoming, the greater dividends to be shared.
Nothing is more difficult then regret
Elliott
ecoells 